ADULT SURVIVOR OF CHILD ABUSE

Each year, millions of children in the United States are victims of child abuse at the hands of parents, guardians, or other adults. Whether their abuse is physical, sexual, or emotional, this childhood abuse leaves emotional and psychological scars in the years to come.

Struggle to develop and maintain close relationships

One of the biggest challenges for an adult survivor of child abuse is the lingering difficulty in trusting others. Often their felt sense is that the world is not fundamentally a safe place to live. After all, this was their experience. The lesson they learned as children was that they were not safe in the world. One of the main places this shows up is in romantic relationships. It can be difficult to build trusting close secure attachments to others when the childhood template is one of physical abuse, coercion, verbal or emotional abuse. Our earliest attachment relationships form the basis of our beliefs about how reliable, safe, or secure others are. When those relationships have contained abuse, then it can become very difficult to not see danger in adult attachments. Sometimes even when the head says its safe, the body still sees danger.

Negative View of Self

Recently, I read a book "A Little Life." I am not recommending this book since it is a very graphic account of an adult survivor of child sexual abuse. It is, however, the most accurate account I have ever read of the self-talk of an adult who was severely abused in childhood by their caregivers. Adult survivors often have a very negative view of themselves. They sometimes have lingering beliefs about their own value, or more accurately, their lack of value. These beliefs were given to them by their abuser, but the survivor carries them with her/him as they go into the world. These negative views of self are often hard to shift since these beliefs were created so early in the child’s life. Caregivers are the child’s first mirrors, and when those mirrors are damaged and broken, then the reflection to the child is very distorted. The ending of A Little Life is very sad. The main character is never able to truly see himself as the lovely, clever, and kind person that he is, and he is unable to shed the burdens of pain and self hatred given to him by his abusers.

If you are an adult survivor of child abuse, there is help and hope out there for you. You can not change the past, but you can heal from the trauma. If you would like to explore treatment in a supportive setting, please reach out to me. I am here to provide you with the tools and the space you need to process your trauma. You can have the amazing life you deserve.

You can reach me at 865-238-5696 x 1 or www.heartsmindstherapy.com.

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